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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Kraken - A Beast of a Spiced Rum

In nautical lore, few beasts have inspired more awe and fear than the Kraken. In Norwegian mythology, it was huge, the size of an island with arms that could reach up to the top of the masts on the tall ships. It was big enough to attack a sperm whale...and win. In the thirties, there were reports that they occasionally attacked modern ships, but caught the worst of it when they encountered the propellers. The point being that, even though not the beasts of myth, these giant squids were large enough to mistake a ship for a sperm whale and attack it; a truly daunting creature.

Tonight, I am releasing The Kraken, The Kraken Spiced Rum that is. Like the beast of myth, the spiced rum is pretty daunting at a hefty 94 proof (that's 47% alcohol for the mathematically challenged). The first thing you notice is the cool double-loop handles on the jug-like bottle, pretty authentic looking and definitely nothing candy-assed here. A nautical-themed label depicting a Kraken attacking a The liquid inside is as opaquely black as the area where the weak brain cells used to reside inside my skull before I started thinning the herd. It is downright inky...nice.
About to release The Kraken
It was the looks of this bottle and the liquid that it contains which first drew my attention; its lack of frivolity intrigued me. It just looked like it was “all business”. I took the plunge and bought a fifth to try out. My first test was straight over the rocks, just to see what we're working with here. The first swallow (not a taste, mind you...a swallow) spoke to me on a primal level. It said, “Damn, that's a spicy burn.” It was a little like vanilla flavored kerosene. Then I regrouped and had another drink. The spices came through nicely, though there's still a burn (94 proof, remember?), it's a good burn. It's a good burn the way that a good alcohol drink is supposed to burn, enough to send some fire to your core and to let you know that you're still alive. The vanilla comes through nicely.
The second test was to mix a little Coke with it (I started with about a half-and-half mix), it would seem that it is the perfect blend. I have mixed few things with Coke that supported and complimented the mix as well as The Kraken (Bacardi Select is a close second as far as taste). The spice punches through the Coke flavor at just the right velocity. I have tried other spiced rums and The Kraken beats them all in my book. The flavor is great, it's a potent drink, and it is not one of those over-priced, over-advertised disappointments. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

The Kraken is distilled in Trinidad and Tobago and blended with 13 secret spices, which is 2 more than Colonel Sanders used on his chicken.  Also, it is gluten, wheat, nut, & lactose free as well as vegan, for anyone who gives a shit.
Now, let me add my disclaimer so that all the pretentious pricks who have made it this far will feel vindicated:

If you've made it this far or have read any of my other posts, you know that I'm not a connoisseur nor sophisticated in my opinions, I am a drinker. I don't swirl my drinks in glasses, sniff at them and talk about 'bouquet', nor do I talk about the subtleties in a blend. It's simple, I like to drink and I especially like to drink things that (1) taste good, and (2) will aid me in my quest for inebriation.  I'm Irish, I work in a bar and in a liquor store and I feel that it is my duty to drink as much of that sweet elixir as possible.  Having said that, I will give The Kraken a hearty thumbs up and my own stamp of approval, an endorsement, if you will (are you listening, liquor companies? Reciprocate!). It fills my needs on both levels. This is something that I will buy again and suggest that my friends try. And yes, I do have friends, very interesting friends as a matter-of-fact, thank you.

As always, I will post a 'morning-after' report when that information becomes available.

The morning-after (or in my case, the afternoon-after) came without any ill after-effects, no headache, nothing. Just a little laziness, but I'll attribute that to the "sleep aids" that I took at 6:00 this morning to try and overcome my chronic insomnia.  So, my final verdict is that The Kraken is a quality product and my initial endorsement still stands.
And a thousand, thousand slimy things lived on and so did I.
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner – Samuel Coleridge

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